Self Esteem & Self Image
Some of the biggest obstacles that we have in life are those that we put in front of ourselves. By working with Lesley you can turn those negatives into positives. There may be situations that you are uncomfortable with or that you feel that the way you look is affecting your life, through your therapy you will understand what makes you think the way that you do and you will explore the options to change your thought processes.
What is Confidence or Self-Esteem?
There are many terms used to describe people's confidence, be it self-esteem, self worth or self-belief. Most people at some point in their lives suffer from a lack of confidence or even a 'crisis' of confidence. This happens for a variety of reasons and everybody's experience is unique. For some people a specific event drains their confidence. For example, 'I used to be a confident person until the changes at work ' or 'my relationship breakdown'. Others have always lacked confidence and felt other people are worthier or better in some way. It is important to remember whatever your personal circumstances you are not alone and you can improve your confidence.
Recognising a Lack of Confidence or Self Esteem
A lack of confidence feels different for every individual. Here are some examples:
- Feeling awkward and totally without anything to say.
- Walking into a party and wanting to walk straight back out.
- Wanting desperately to talk to someone but think nobody will want to listen to you.
- Feeling tongue tied.
- Feeling anxious in meetings or on or before other occasions.
- Wanting to be able to stand up for yourself but feeling too scared.
- Terrified about being the centre of attention.
- Finding it hard to believe and talk about your achievements and strengths.
A lack of confidence goes hand in hand with negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. Nobody feels confident all the time, although they might act as if they do. It is useful to recognise what makes us doubt ourselves and find ways to address this, these include confidence or assertiveness training or counselling.
How Counselling Can Help?
Most counselling approaches recognise that our development of self-belief is strongly influenced by the environment we grow up in, social pressures and the influence of significant people in our lives. A lack of confidence occurs when we feel we are failing to satisfy the expectations of others and the world around us. This could be parents, partners, work colleagues, newspaper articles. Nowadays there is a lot of pressure to conform which can make us feel like we should be somebody different to who we are. This in turn adds to our feelings of worthlessness. Counselling will help you explore the person you are not the person you feel you should be. This will help you let go of the hold on your life that other people's expectations have had and to feel more strongly grounded in who you are and what's important to you.